Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Just friends

"In my opinion, he suits you really well"

Oh yeah? Like something I'd wear? Like a piece of clothing?
And how, if i may be so bold and ask, did you come to such a conclusion?

... was what i wanted to retort.

But no, i didn't say that. She's my friend, and entitled to her opinion.
I shrugged instead, and said "maybe, i dunno, but personally i don't think so."

This hasn't been the first time people try to hook me up with him, even though I've clearly made it obvious to them that it's never gonna happen.

For starters, I'm not the slightest bit attracted to him in that way. And then of course there's the case of him not being attracted to me in that way. We both seem to get it. Why don't others?

Besides, 'He's just a friend', i wanted to add.. except that i realize in the nick of time that that expression in itself could mean different things to different people.

So i held my tongue.

Which, ironically is often misconstrued by my friends as an 'Oh-I'm-so-embarrassed-you-found-out-about-us' kind of silence. =____='

"C'mon, he's single, you're single... what's there to lose?"

Our friendship??

Gosh people, he's (just) a FRIEND!

Again, i try to tell them that.

But so cliche are those words that when spoken out loud, it suggests a meaning totally opposite to what it literally implies. Words that when verbalized is misinterpreted as an attempt to hide something more sinister; something which is, in the distorted world of female frenzy, seen as very gossip-worthy.

And so, I'm left to fend for myself yet again with hand gestures and facial expressions that are less than adequate to describe the kind of friendship he and I share i.e 'the platonic kind'.

This has happened to me before.
With other guy-friends my girl-friends deem compatible for me.

From experience i know that it will be a long winding road ahead.

And at the very dead end of that long long road less taken, they will (finally) realize that there was never anything between he and I.

Almost on cue with this realization is the question they'll ask me with a shrewd smirk and a half-accusing eye:

"Why did you ever mislead us into thinking there was anything there in the first place?"

That's when I'll hang my head down...

... and sigh~~
(there is no pleasing them~)

Monday, June 22, 2009


I have a thing about words.

They mesmerize me, to put it in simple terms. Especially when they're cleverly laced up together to form what i like to call 'a work a of art'.

A masterpiece, if you may.

If you can understand the intricacies of the written words woven delicately into sentences so fine and captivating, you would understand what i mean. You would appreciate the orgasmic feeling a person like me gets just by reading a writing that was written to near perfection. Word upon word upon word of great exquisiteness sitting side by side in a straight line touching me in a soft caress that makes me quiver with pleasure. (And just so you don't get the wrong ideas, I'm not talking about anything perverted here.)

Why, you may ask, am I bringing this up now?

Well you see, I rarely come across writings that give me such an effect.

But on those odd occasions when i roam bookstores (or less commonly, the Internet) looking for something to sate my hunger for delicious words, i will come across these rare jewels amid a violent sea of ugly seaweeds. Unrestrained, I lap hungrily upon its scrumptious words. I savor its aftertaste long after my first bite. And i dream of it at night when i lie down to sleep.

Sparkling brightly, it takes all of my everything not to be consumed by its shining genius.

That, my friend, is the power of the written word!

And yesterday, quite by accident, i happened to stumbled upon such greatness. (Tho 'falling ungracefully in love' might be a better way to describe what actually happened.)

His words were delicious. Just the way i like it.
His writings exquisite. I couldn't ask for more.
His flow of thoughts deliriously good. How could i ever resist?
His was all i needed to satisfy that unquenchable thirst i constantly have for good writings.

The only fault i had with his 'masterpieces' was how few and far between they were.

But then again, with all great writers, taking their sweet time has become an art they've perfected in parallel with their writing skills.

So I've no reason to lash out.

Perfection is a waiting game. Just like a time bomb.
So wait i will.

Until the day he puts that brilliance of his to work again.

Oh Mr Blogger sir, at the risk of sounding corny:
You certainly had me at hello~

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

I'm Hot!

Sweltering hot!! Armpits-sweatingly hot!!!

Ironic isn't it? Not a few weeks ago, i had been complaining about the cold cold weather and the constant rain. Now that it's all hot hot sunshine 15hours a day, with not even a single cloud in the sky, I suddenly feel the need to whine yet again. 

I'm whining because having lived in Ireland for the last 3 years, i have never once tasted the super-duper heat of summer here. I'm whining because having never tasted summer, i have come unprepared for it. I'm whining because having come unprepared for summer, all my clothes are tailor-made to make me sweat. I'm whining because having clothes that make me sweat, I am forced to buy a whole new closet of clothes just for summer. I'm whining because I can't buy any new clothes because all they sell here are summer dresses exposing either my belly button or my arm pits, neither one of which i wish to make public (just yet).

And so, my whining is justified.

Now, you're gonna think i'm childish and spoilt. You're gonna say i'm stuck-up. You're gonna think "Gimme a break. You're from Malaysia, Izzy!! MALAYSIA!!! Where it's 40 degrees out on a good day. So what's so bad about a little heat. It's not like you're not used to it!" 

That's where you're wrong.

1. Unlike Malaysia, air conditioning is non-existent here. As are ceiling fans. And you definitely won't find any of those fancy fans with little water sprinklers like the ones they have at mamak stalls. Nothing like that. Yada!! All they have is heaters. (But what good is a heater in the burning heat of summer??) =S

2. Being a poor and constantly broke student living on a measly allowance, i do not own a car. Nor do i have enough money to call a cab every time i step out of the house.  Besides, the store where i do my grocery shopping is a mere 15 agonizingly hot minutes away from my house. Hence i walk. And i do not walk under the cooling shade of an umbrella. That's the exact epitome of uncoolness. So i bear the heat. It makes me dizzy. But i have an image to protect. So shuuush!

3. I like whining. It makes me........... ME! ^___^