I went to bed last night with a heavy, awful feeling weighing me down. I was hoping to sleep it off. I was hoping that some sweet dreams of better times could lull me into a less dreadful tomorrow. But i woke up this morning harboring the same dark, angsty feeling.
Something wasn't right. Something felt very wrong. But i didnt know what. Maybe it was last night's conversation, or the stress from exams. Maybe it was the changing seasons, or my inbox full of spam.
I don't know. I haven't a clue.
My legs felt sluggish as i dragged myself out of bed and into the shower. It felt even sluggish-er as I trundled despondently to our usual hangout study spot. The guys were already there. No surprise. I was late.
I sat down just in time to hear the last few echoes of their conversation. It wasn't anything i wanted to hear in my depressive state, so i persuaded them to start. I was hoping we'd breeze through today's session. But that didn't materialize.
They made stupid jokes and laughed their tiny hearts out. They talked about things i wished they didn't talk about. They were getting on my nerves. And before long, I no longer felt the way i did when i woke up.....
...... I felt worse!
How could they not realize how horrible I felt? How could they not see that their gritty laughter grated the fragile edges of my heart? Their ruthless insensitivity scrapped my raw emotions till it bled a dark dark red.
I felt like screaming. I wanted to shout. I wanted to yell to the whole world:
"Oh, please just shut up!!!"
................ Ah, life! Why aren't you bright and sunny today? ..........